FINAL FREE HUGS CAMPAIGN

Increasing Solidarity and Togetherness through “Free Hugs” Campaign

Now days most people don’t have a high togetherness and solidarity sense with each other. That bad situation encourages a man doing “free hugs” campaign. At first people in the down town ignored him even some of people just smiled and took pictures or video. Then an elderly woman came to him and gave hug. They looked like very happy so that made other people interested to give hugs too. There were many people who gave hugs even some people followed to do the campaign. Because of that crowd, some polices came to him and asked to stop the campaign. They thought that campaign interfere another people so they didn't allow them to continue their campaign. The man forced to continue his campaign, he didn't agree with what polices thought. Next he wanted to prove that he has done is good for all so he asked people in the down town to give signatures to prove that free hugs were necessary and do not disturb others. He worked hard to get signatures as much as he could get.  Fortunately there were many people who wanted to help him and he got 10.000 signatures. At the end polices permitted him to continue his campaign because of those signatures furthermore some polices gave hugs too. This story gives us many moral values, Most of people right now are selfish, and they don’t care about another people. As human we must care with other, help each other and also we must respect with the other. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vr3x_RRJdd4&noredirect=1

OUTLINE

 Title: Review of Free Hugs Campaign (Video)

By: I Gede Bhsma Griwanasta

Link: http://griwanastabhisma.blogspot.com/2013/10/review-of-free-hugs-campaign-video.html

Topic sentence

In the video there was a man who doing a campaign about free hugs,

Mayor supporting sentence 1

The Man was a man with brown medium hair and quite good-looking, he stood in the middle of the street while holding a sign about offering free hugs.

Mayor supporting sentence 2

At first, some people tried to keep the distance from the man while the others toying with him

Minor supporting sentence

·         they react as if he is a freak who tried to do a sexual harassment

·          then an elderly woman asked the man to give her a hug

·         The man gladly accept and gave her a hug

Mayor supporting sentence 3

The police prohibited the free hugs campaign

Minor support

• They tried to stop the man and his colleagues
• Then after hearing the explanation they allow it

Mayor supporting sentence 4

The man and his colleagues stood up and explain the purpose of the event

• They continued their free hugs campaign and they got 10 thousand signatures. 

Conclusion sentence

In the end, they got 10 thousand signatures and many people performed the free hugs, even the police accept it when someone tried to give him a hug, the main point of the video from my point of view is about how people giving and accepting kindness from each others, how we unite and cast away the lonely feeling in out heart, togetherness and equality for the better society and future

MY COMMENT

Your posting is good, that give some life values which is very valuable for our life as human but there are still mistakes that you should fix to make your posting more perfect.

• The first is about your topic sentence “In the video there was a man who doing a campaign about free hugs…” it would be nicer if you change that sentence because this is little bit odd if you use this sentence as topic sentence. May be that because the words “ in this video” it would be nicer if you don’t use that words because that words make the sentence not flexible.
• Second is about sentences” ... the man was a man with…..” and “At first, some people tried to keep…” When I read that sentences, I felt there was something odd because both of those sentences aren't connected. In my opinion between of that sentences must be added by sentence that can connect those sentences.
• Third is about the mechanic of your paragraph. After I read your sentence, I felt there is something odd because your paragraph just consisted of 3 sentences. You put the wrong punctuation for example in sentence “At first, some people tried to keep the…”. In that sentence you put comma too much. You should not do that and fix it and you must place the punctuation correctly.
• And the last is about sentence” In the end, they got 10….. lonely feeling in out heart….” The word “out” is not suitable. it should be replaced by word “ our”. 

That is all suggestion that I can give to you. Thank you….